I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
