thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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