so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
