Nicole vs. Life
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
operation have a gay friend backfired
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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