I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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