Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
