we're blogging at a bar
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
