1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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