Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize