but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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