why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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