i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
