There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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