So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
