If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
