he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
We had sex on a dog bed..
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
