Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
