why didn't you poke me back
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
