I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
