i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
