That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Dear god my vagina.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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