Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
