i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
