oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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