Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
