On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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