so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
