when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
