We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
