I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
