R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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