Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
