Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
