I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
