I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
