We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
