weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
