Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
My legs feel like baby dolphins
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
