Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
