I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
My ass is underappreciated
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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