he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
