god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
