he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
It's official drugs can't kill me
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
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