So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
