May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
