Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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