Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize