do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
