in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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