I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
