but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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