Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize