btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
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