Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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