is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
