Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
