What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
two words...techno handjob
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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